Well... FUCK

[littleheaven]

My old boss rang me today. Oh so sorry, but there's no place for you here anymore, I'm 4 people over the staffing limit.

Great. So now what do I do? Where do I go? How am I going to find a department willing to take on someone on a pretty high salary who can't commit to turning up at the same time each day? I'm screwed.

I spoke to the Big Kahuna again. He keeps saying he wants me to go part time. So I did the sums, and I can afford to cut down to working 10am to 4.30pm. As long as they don't expect me to do unpaid overtime - otherwise, I'd basically be working a full-time job for less pay. Which is not on.

So tomorrow I'm going to suggest that. With a member of Human Resources present. Until we can get things sorted (I'll need to train the others how to do some of my tasks), I'm willing to do my normal hours, and get docked pay for any morning hours that I miss, instead of working extra late to try and make up the time (Big Kahuna doesn't want that). Unless I am owed sick leave, in which case I expect it to be taken out of that. At the moment I have none owing, so it would come out of my salary. I intend to write all this down, and if they agree, I will make them sign it, so they can't change the rules on me again.

I think, in the long run, part-time hours will be better for me. I'm trying to do a full week plus overtime plus keep house and at the moment I'm not finding much time for me, and I think it's important to have a balance. I could be home at 5pm (instead of 7pm onwards) and while it's light, do gardening, or get some of the housework done, so that I have my weekends free. I think less stress will probably help my condition to settle down. I need to get it under control.

So, I'm pretty upset again. I feel totally let down by everyone at work. I've cried more in the last week than I have since that terrible week in January 2003 when I lost 2 pets and 2 grandparents on 4 consecutive days. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat, maybe it's hormones. Perhaps they are still settling after coming off the pill. When I'm cheerful, I'm really cheerful. I feel positively split-personality right now.

Some good will come of this. It has to. The universe is testing me, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I just wish I knew what it was.

Comments

[tesla321.livejournal.com]

It will work out. And then, you'd have the time to pursue other interests, like writing original fiction.

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Yes, that thought had crossed my mind. More time to write would be good!

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

Well shit! Damn bosses who promise crap and then can't come through with it. I've certainly had that happen a time or two and it's definitely not pleasant. I can't believe he said "Sure, come back. We'll make room somehow," and then whines that he's already overstaffed.

I'm so sorry you won't be going back to the place you were happy in. But, if you can work out the part-time gig I have to believe that would be the best thing for you. You don't need the stress and more time to play with us would be fantastic! ::hugs::

[starlet2367.livejournal.com]

What Deb said. Plus more hugs.

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Thanks baby :hugs back:

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Well shit! Damn bosses who promise crap and then can't come through with it.

A hex on them all, dammit!

At least if I go part-time, I won't have people giving me the evil eye over my hours. Just that alone was stressing me out. Plus I've been doing 9hrs a day with no breaks for three weeks solid now, and it shows no sign of letting up. I'm slowly losing my life in increments. Part time, I can just down tools at 4.30 and bugger off!

[nialla]

I can totally sympathize with your situation. I've got IBS too, and it gets really old being told variations of, "You aren't be sick, you *look* OK!" I'll be sure to tell someone just diagnosed with cancer that. [grr]

The stess is so not helping you. If you can make it on a reduced schedule, I say go for it.

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Ah, a fellow sufferer. Yes, I sometimes think they believe it's all in my mind. It's like telling someone with a phobia to "just get over it". I know that stress is a major trigger, and I don't cope well with it anyway. Perhaps this is a good thing, in the long run.

[nialla]

I've been dealing with it for 2 1/2 years now. Usually it doesn't bother me too much during day time hours, except for sometimes in the early morning (and luckily I don't have to open to the public until 10 am). That meant no one was seeing the hours of pain I dealt with, usually at some ungodly hour, which meant my sleep was suffering too.

I've been through thousands of dollars worth of tests, and while there were a few "minor" things discovered, nothing has been found as the source of my ailment. On top of the IBS, I'm also dealing with migraines and TMJ syndrome. I've gotten to the point where I try not to mention any of it, no matter how bad I feel, because certain people look at me like I'm faking.

PM me if you want to rant about the IBS Bitch. :)

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor baby. Mine keeps making me late for work. So I stress about it, which makes it worse...

I've been diagnosed for 12 years now. I will indeed e-mail you when I feel the need to rant. The whole faking it thing, I so get that.

:hugs you: